Dirty 31: My Fantasy? P-Poppin in a Waterfall

You probably forgot about Ludacris, and it's a shame.

Flashcard from The Def Jam South's Children's Guide to Hip-Hop

With his Clown Prince of the Dirty South persona and massive pop hits, Ludacris took over Busta Rhymes' role as funny rapper with crazy videos and distinctive delivery to become a star.

He also had some filthy songs.

"What's Your Fantasy? (ft Shawna)"

Shawna asks Ludacris what his fantasy is, he talks about different ways of doing sex, then asks her what her fantasy is, and guess what she likes all the same things as him. Classic song.

"P-Poppin"

Delmon Young's walk-up music.

"Splash Waterfalls"


At 11 seconds into the song Ludacris commands the woman to "say it." She says "Make love to me." Instantly. At 19 seconds he says it again, but this time she says "Fuck me." Then the songs goes on like that for 4 and-a-half more minutes! Chris, you sealed that deal a long time ago, quit showing off.

Hats off to you Luda!

Introducing the Dirty 31

For as long as man has brought in the harvest every autumn, October has been known as the prime month for rocking. Early humans met at fall feasts and beat primitive tools against boulder and stick alike to create a brutal din. Centuries later guitarists turned up the drive knob on their tube amps to continue the tradition.

This year we go against it. We present to you the Dirty 31, our 31 favorite filthy hip-hop songs.

Leading off is Lady with her two massive hits (to us, at least) "Yankin" and "Twerk."





Lady gets everything right here. We love dirty songs because they don't conform to what's expected of a song in polite society. There have long been songs that artfully imply or hide overt sexual themes, but we really appreciate it when the artist is as blunt, subtext-free, and ridiculous as possible, and Lady is exactly that.

Musically, "Yankin" and "Twerk" sound like generic Southern Neptunes-style club-banging grind music. And that's perfect. We love that. We imagine Lady went into Big Gates Records and said "Listen, I have exactly two ideas for songs, give me some grind music and we can get them done in an hour. First song: I'm really good at sex, and I'm even better at it when I'm dunk. Done. Second song: I'm really good at dancing, and I'm even better at it when I'm drunk. Done. I'll flesh them out with swears and dirty talk. See you tomorrow for the video shoot."

Oh, the videos. Listening to the songs alone, you come away with the idea that Lady is a very confident, sexual woman who you should probably be intimidated by. The following is a list of reasons the videos completely undermine that and make everything more enjoyable:

-Lady looks stiff and unconvincing (and maybe not as good at sex as she says she is)
-Lady isn't good at dancing, and never gets even close to twerking (she should check the home-made twerking videos right next to hers on youtube)
-Her stripper friends are bored and not good at dancing
-The men are wearing socks
-The men are serving Cheetos and 4 Loko

We love you Lady. Hats off to you for helping us kick this off!

What's Scaring Us Today: A Very Dedicated Tweeter

You may remember Bree Olson from as one of Charlie Sheen's famous "Goddesses," but before that she was (and continues to be) a successful porn actress and possibly the filthiest person on Twitter.
Exhibit A:

And here's an impressive run she went on over 2 days:

Last night she said someone has been messaging her with some strange tweets:

So naturally we had to check it out. Wow. Here's a sample of the 74 tweets this person has made in the two-plus weeks the account has been active (these are all from March 19th):

All the tweets are like this. Constant encouragement to procreate with Charlie Sheen because the world needs his DNA to spread. You can read the rest here if you feel like being thorough, but trust us, whoever runs this account stays impressively on-message.

So who could this person be? It's tempting to think it's a troll making fun of Sheen and the whole situation, but even the most dedicated troll eventually loses interest after a story is out of the news (except Neil Hamburger, of course). This is probably the work of a DeNiro-in-The Fan-type obsessive, but since we're optimists we like to think they're a normal, happy person who just happens to have an unshakable belief that the future of the human race teeters on the brink of destruction unless these two can create the next Savior.

Or maybe it's just Michele Bachmann. We could see that:

Hats off to Michele Bachmann!